Microsoft to slant study; Offers to let OSDL pay half

Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ.

Alright...Microsoft goes to the OSDL and says to them "Hey, ya know what? Let's cut the bullshit, and pay for an independant study together. Then everyone'll know what the best OS is. Alright?".

What's wrong with this sentence, children? Let's go through it. Together.

First, Microsoft approached the OSDL. Bad thing right off the bat. Why? Because Microsoft doesn't do shit unless it has an ulterior motive. Sound extreme? I know it is, but it's also true. About the only thing Microsoft's done that hasn't profitted it is contributing to AIDS research, and that can still be questioned as to whether it's the good of their heart or simply to say "Hey, we aren't complete cocksucking douchebags.".

Second, they suggest that they share the cost for an independant study. Do you understand the issue with this? Yes, that's right; a study isn't independant if it's paid for. Unless, of course, they also split the cost of bribing researchers to slant towards Windows. Then it'd be fair, of course. Because an Independant Study which is paid for, behind the scenes or not, isn't an Independant Study. It's a Comissioned Study. Nothing's wrong with a Comissioned Study, of course, except that they tend to be looked badly upon when it comes to Us Versus Them(Or, as I like calling them, Microsoft Versus Linux) studies.

Third, and yes, children, this's the long one, they did all of this, supposedly, so an "independant study" will show which is best. Windows or Linux.

Who fucking cares?

Here's a fucking newsflash, Microsoft: Linux isn't a fucking Business. You are. I know you covet your Dead Presidents and hope to release the Golden Calf Edition of Windows soon, but you're having the financial shit beat out of you by a free operating system.

Is anybody fucking home?

And what about all of those "independant studies" that're part of the Get the Shi...errr...Facts Campaign? I thought those were Independant Studies. Or are you just realizing that nobody cared that some study that came from an unknown institution that's now well-known due to your generous donations going towards advertising said that Windows is cheaper/more secure/easier to set up/has better support/cures cancer/blows you?

"Huh, let's see...I'm a giant fucking corporation that'll likely die soon under my own weight unless I do something...let's try buying independant studies...nope, not working...alright, then, let's go to who we percieve as the enemy, and offer to let them pay half of the study, then we'll go, bribe the researchers, and have it show that in a one-on-one fight, Linux is gang-raped by the line of Microsoft products. Yeah! Holy Shit, no one would see through that!"

What we've learned today:

If a company launches a campaign to discredit another product, and nothing on the page is negative in any way, shape or form towards its' own product, then it's bullshit studies which were paid off.